EP 023 | Discover the Secrets to True Connection with Intimacy Coach Lyuba Venable

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Discover the Secrets to True Connection with Intimacy Coach Lyuba Venable

Discover the impact of touch, intimacy, and self-discovery in personal and professional life!

From Overwhelmed to Empowered: Embracing Mindfulness and Passion

Navigating the complexities of modern life often leaves individuals feeling overwhelmed and anxious. In the latest episode of the Invisible to Invincible Podcast, host Kendra Losee is joined by intimacy coach Lyuba Venable. Together they dive into strategies for reclaiming control and thriving both personally and professionally. It’s revealed that the path to overcoming these feelings lies in addressing our mental state and reconnecting with our bodies and embracing pleasure, relaxation, and mindful surrender.

 

Lyuba shares the foundation for business success and daily life is grounded in our ability to relax and find joy. This connection between pleasure and productivity challenges conventional wisdom but offers a powerful perspective on how intertwined our emotional, mental, and physical well-being truly is.

The Power of Touch in Enhancing Well-being and Productivity

In a world where digital communication often surpasses face-to-face interaction, the need for human touch remains essential. Lyuba shares her profound insights into the significance of touch – both sexual and non-sexual – and its impact on overall well-being. She emphasizes that intimacy goes beyond sexual interaction; it involves closeness, vulnerability, and connection. Intimacy can be nurtured through simple acts like holding hands or a comforting embrace, impacting our emotional and mental health.

 

The discussion extends to the various senses and cravings individuals experience, highlighting the uniqueness and variability in human needs. The hosts stress the importance of recognizing and honoring these needs for touch and intimacy to foster healthier relationships and heightened productivity.

Lyuba’s Journey to Becoming an Intimacy Coach

Lyuba’s path is both inspiring and enlightening. Transitioning from a successful career in the corporate world to becoming an intimacy coach was a significant leap that required courage and conviction. Lyuba recounts her days as a manager and software engineer, where she often found that people took a backseat to work priorities. A pivotal moment came when she was unexpectedly fired from her job, turning this setback into an opportunity to fully dedicate herself to her passion: helping people connect with their sexuality and intimacy.

 

Lyuba’s background is unique. She has worked at notable companies such as Google and an adult entertainment company, which equipped her with diverse experiences and perspectives. An online sexuality course for women ignited her passion for sex education, leading her to embrace her role as a sex and relationship coach.

Coaching Intimacy: Techniques and Impact

In her current role, Lyuba utilizes the Somatica method for sex coaching, a transformative approach that includes experiential exercises and touch. She works with individuals and couples, addressing sexual dysfunction or mismatched desires, and emphasizes that these challenges often affect broader aspects of life, including creativity and vitality. By fostering open communication and self-discovery, Lyuba helps clients reconnect with themselves and their partners, leading to a more fulfilling and energized existence.

The hosts explore how societal repression and discomfort around discussing sex can hinder personal growth. By openly talking about her profession and experiences, Lyuba aims to destigmatize sex education and coaching, offering a safe space for clients to address their needs and desires without judgment.

Key Take-Aways From the Episode

One of the key takeaways from the podcast episode is the availability of workshops and resources designed to support personal and relationship development. Lyuba and Kendra stress the importance of investing in oneself and seeking guidance to navigate the complexities of intimacy and relationships. These workshops offer valuable tools and techniques to enhance connection, self-awareness, and overall well-being.

 

This conversation between Lyuba Venable and Kendra Losee sheds light on the multifaceted nature of intimacy, pleasure, and mindfulness. Lyuba’s insights reveal that by embracing our inherent need for touch and connection, we can not only enhance our personal relationships but also thrive professionally.

This episode serves as a reminder that success and fulfillment are deeply rooted in our ability to connect with ourselves and others, making intimacy and self-care essential components of a well-rounded, empowered life.

Meet Our Guest

Lyuba Venable is a Somatica® Trained Intimacy Coach on a journey of love and self-discovery. Her own love story is not just about her adoration for her husband and two beautiful children but a profound tale of falling in love with life itself. Years ago, after following her mother’s advice to wait until marriage for sex, Lyuba found herself in a marriage where intimacy felt anything but enjoyable. 

Convinced that “sex is not for women,” she struggled with an aversion to intimacy, eventually leading to the decision to leave that marriage.  It wasn’t until a passionate encounter years later that Lyuba discovered the joy, aliveness, and pleasure that sex could bring. This sparked a hunger for learning, and she gave herself permission to explore pleasure in all aspects of life, realizing that a pleasure mindset transformed her choices. She began this journey as a corporate business woman, but left that world to embrace a life of passion and enjoyment through coaching. Now, as a coach, Lyuba helps women and men discover the possibilities of a life lived in pleasure, teaching the transformative power of understanding and embracing a pleasure mindset. With gratitude, she looks forward to learning about your unique love story.

 

🌟 Connect with Lyuba Venable

Lyuba’s Website

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DISCLAIMER:

This podcast is sponsored by KendraLosee.com. Some links are affiliate links, which means if you buy something, we may receive a small commission.


🌟Connect with Kendra

Website – kendralosee.com

Instagram – @itskendralosee

Facebook – @itskendralosee

On LinkedIn – @kendralosee

On TikTok – @itskendralosee


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EP 023 – Transcript | Discover the Secrets to True Connection with Intimacy Coach Lyuba Venable

[00:00:00] Are you craving more intimacy, connection, and sensuality? Not just in the bedroom, but in every aspect of your life. If so, you’re in the right place. Join us today. As we dive into this truly transformative conversation with Lyuba Venable, a Somatica trained intimacy coach who shares her powerful journey from corporate life as a manager and software engineer to discovering the life changing power of embracing pleasure.

[00:00:31] Lyuba shares with us her journey that she herself went on and what she takes her clients on as they look to discover intimacy and what the benefits are, not just with others. but intimacy with yourself. Hello friends. I’m Kendra from KendraLosee.com and you’ve tuned in to the Invisible to Invincible podcast, where passionately driven business owners, entrepreneurs, and experts share their journeys from hidden gems to industry leaders.

[00:01:04] Together, we’ll uncover the secrets, mental shifts, and business strategies that turned each of them into undeniable forces. So hit that subscribe button and let’s dive in. Lyuba, welcome. I’m so excited to have you here. Oh, Kendra, I’m excited too. For those of you tuning in, I really appreciate that you’re here as well.

[00:01:28] Lyuba and I have actually been talking for like the last half hour just about life stuff. And so we’re just going to bring you into this conversation because I, it was like, we started talking automatically and I was like, oh yeah, now we need to hit record. Yeah. Yeah. It’s just the conversation is flowing, which is the best.

[00:01:47] Right. When it’s happening that way, exactly. So Lyuba, you have such an interesting story and background. Can you tell everyone what it is you do today? And then we’re going to start with, and then we’re going to go back to what you used to do before. So today I call myself, I am sex and relationship coach.

[00:02:08] I work with people. I work with individuals and with couples. where I help people to connect, to come back together. It’s experiential practice. This is where like, I call it a lab. Like Intimacy Lab, where we practice sins, and some sin, you know how in our society people don’t talk about sex. Every, when everything is great, it’s great, but when something is not happening, then it’s like there is shame there.

[00:02:37] So I do all of this work, just helping people to connect with themselves, to get embodied, and then, To find a partner or to connect with existent partner. And I’m just, I love this so much to get into that flow with people. And I feel like I’m touching people’s lives and they’re just so satisfying. And what did you do before?

[00:03:00] And before when I moved 10 years ago from Ukraine and I went right into Google. So I worked at Google as a quality assurance engineer. And then later I moved to another company where they worked as a software manager. And so I have been in software industry for 13 years. And then one day it happened right before COVID hit that I was in a training.

[00:03:26] It was in personal training where I just had this moment when I realized that sex education is just. So such a passion of mine and I want to work with people that I want people to get in touch with their sexuality that like for me how I am coming from not enjoying sex at all to like, Oh my God, having this like amazing experiences.

[00:03:50] So I felt like it was important for me. to transition and to work with people to, to get courageous enough to transition from being software manager to becoming a sex coach. I love that so much. And I have so many questions. I worked at a software company and If you, for those of you that might be listening that haven’t worked at a software company, QA is very like detailed and it’s all on the computer.

[00:04:18] And it’s very much trying to find the mistakes or things, you know, monitor the quality, which is it’s vitally important, but it is very like there was always. We wouldn’t bother the QA people. They had their headphones on. We didn’t bother the QA people. No offense QA people. They were always a little odd.

[00:04:37] So interesting. So my question, I mean, keep in mind I was in marketing, so we had a very skewed view. People were afraid to talk to us too, but for different reasons. So my question is what kind of training were you in with Google when you just like in the middle of it decided I need to be doing this. I need to go from software development to.

[00:04:59] Sex and intimacy coaching. Yeah. So it’s interesting because at the time I decided I wasn’t at Google anymore. Right. But like when I moved here and I joined Google, I felt like I’m the happiest, um, the luckiest person in the world because I get to work for this number one employee. Lawyer, right? And Google, if you were, if you go to Google campus, it’s like Disneyland, right?

[00:05:25] It has 30 restaurants. I gained 15 pounds.

[00:05:33] You have this like a capsule where you can take a nap. This just amazing areas where you can relax. You can play different games. And then I joined it three months. And then it’s interesting how, after three months, I went into this. like something is not clicking. Like this honeymoon phase ended. I already tried all the restaurants, tried all the spaces, right?

[00:05:59] But then my core of like being connected with people, like really doing stuff with people that wasn’t meeting, because most people at Google, they’re like very geeky and they enjoy time with computer. They’re not very interested in humans. They’re just like super. like genius people, right? But they’re like very much in their heads.

[00:06:21] And so this is when I started feeling that it’s not quite my environment. And so I changed my job. Like after one year and a half, I found a new job and you will be surprised or not surprised. That was. King company, which is BDSM porn company, but I joined as QA manager. Right. And for me, something was, I enjoyed this, like that people are open minded, like that, they, they can talk about sex and it’s okay.

[00:06:49] And so that was like a pool. I really like a magnet. I wanted to go there and I really loved it. And I remember one of my friends said, I can’t believe it. You exchanged high technology. for cocks and pussies. Like why? It’s a big business. And it’s, but then I met my husband there. So I imagine it was like the right move.

[00:07:12] Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. And then after that I worked at Workday company. So that was already like, I moved from, Yeah, quite far away from Google, right? And then it just, there is this corporate environment and a lot of scenes that I already learned about, like creating connection, that when I work with my teams, that I would focus on like how everyone is connecting.

[00:07:37] When I have one on ones. Every team member would cry at some point because I created such a safe space where they could talk about their deepest problems. So my focus was so deeply on humans, like when I had to fire someone, I did it in such a way that we stayed the best friends. So I was already applying something that is so important for me, but then my manager didn’t like it very much.

[00:08:02] There’s that. Yeah, there’s that. WorkDay used to be a client of mine when I was at the agency and it’s very representative of the bigger corporate high tech kind of companies with all the layers. And in those environments, things tend to come before people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is that. And then to deeper answer your question, like how transitioned that I realized after this training, I realized, okay, I want to do sex education, but then how do I do it? I didn’t have any training.

[00:08:36] All my education is computer science, right? So I decided, okay, let me do a little step that I started online sexuality course for women. I realized that I was so fascinated by learning about sex, that I have all of this knowledge just that I learned for myself. And I’m a woman, so I could share it with other women, right?

[00:08:57] And I started this course in parallel as I had my job. And it’s fascinating what happened that I got so invested in it. Energetically. I was my whole, even I still did my tasks and I was going to work. My whole soul was already in this sexuality course and it went so well. And I received great feedback that at some point I just got fired.

[00:09:22] It’s like universe helped me. Yeah. It happens. I mean, to be fair, as someone who’s been laid off six times, I’m very familiar with how that can work when you’re, whether your energy is where you want it to be or for better or for worse, it’s easy to do and then look at as a gift because that’s not what you were meant to be doing anyway.

[00:09:47] Yeah. Yeah. And it was a painful process, right? Was it painful for you? Absolutely. Yes. By the. Fourth time I was helping them out, like, Oh, what do you need me to sign? But a lot of them were like companies going under and that kind of thing. It wasn’t just me that got laid off each time. But yeah, it is painful and it requires a mourning period and a time to process, but it sounds like you are already on the right path for you when those changes come.

[00:10:15] Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And it’s, it was like my ego felt hurt and as well it felt scary because I didn’t know yet how to make money with my sexuality course. Like that was free and then I charged a little bit, right? So here I’m losing job where I am making good money. Right. So that was, there was like so much uncertainty, but then, My husband, I remember I tried to look for another job and my husband was like, wait, wait, wait.

[00:10:44] What if, what if this is a sign for you to just completely like focus, full focus? And it was scary. It was uncomfortable, but you know what? It’s like the best thing that ever happened because it completely emerged me into sex education. So Now, when you, how do you help, how do you work with people now?

[00:11:07] Cause that’s been, that was how many years ago that you started your business? So it was four, about four years ago. Yeah. And now you, you know, you have a thriving business, you have courses and workshops it looks like. How do you work with people and at what point are they ready to be, to work with you?

[00:11:27] Yeah. Yeah. I use somatica method, which like, when I realized that, okay, like what do I do with people? Like you say, that sexuality course was a playground, but then what do I do? So I took, it’s just like somatica Institute, which is located in San Francisco. And then at that time it was COVID. So they did it online.

[00:11:48] So it didn’t matter where they’re located. And this is when I learned how to work with clients. So. It’s a sex coaching, which is different from sex therapy, right? Therapy is like talking about sins and looking at, um, something like there is like trauma or some issue that we need to address. And coaching it’s, it’s, I have set of tools and then it’s like, you go to gym and you exercise your muscles, right?

[00:12:15] Like here, You want to have, for people who are feeling, you know what, there is like something is missing. There is something, I feel like there must be more to a sex life. I remember me being in that place that like, yeah, I have sex. It’s okay, but there is, there must be something more to it, right? Or for people who are in a relationship, that like, there is some distance with the partner, that we live together, maybe we have kids, but like, something, it doesn’t feel like we are in this, you know, like, Like we are on fire with each other or like we are just, just so emerged and it feels even better than it was at the beginning because at the beginning we all have this hormones playing, right?

[00:12:58] And then it’s kind of like dies out. And again, I’ve been there too. And so this coaching is experiential. When I work one on one, then there’s a person like they practice with me. So we explore. What’s the areas that we need to focus on? So we will talk for some time and then we do exercises when, if it’s in person, touch involved and touch is a very, it’s a teaching tool where the emotions might come up.

[00:13:23] Then we are learning how to bring. Like how to get in the body, how to turn on, like to bring it into partner, right? Like how to be this like really great lover for yourself and for someone else. And so people are practicing with me and we have boundaries that it’s a lab, right? So we keep clothes on and we don’t touch genitals.

[00:13:45] We don’t kiss on the lips, but everything else is So a lot of times this touch, we can, like, as if we are practicing, like we might have emotions and I cry with my clients and we just go like some healing sometimes needs to happen. But then when we work on sexual energy, a lot of times it feels like we are having sex because we are exploring something.

[00:14:05] This, you know, a lot of women would come with this. I don’t feel like having sex. I have low libido. And then we explore their, And then they feel like, Oh my God, and it’s happening. And because we have boundaries, so it feels like lab. So it’s very safe environment. And then when I work with couple, they do exercises with each other.

[00:14:25] So I’m being like a guide, like a facilitator. And they just, they explore scenes with each other and I might just show something, but they most, most like most exercises they do with each other. So because it’s experiential, when person comes out of a session, there is this feeling like Oh my God. Like I never experienced it.

[00:14:45] I never talked about it. I never been touched like that. I never felt that I can do that to a person, to another partner. Right. So it’s like your whole system already knows. Like experiences it instead of, oh, I read it and I kind of have idea, but who knows what it is. I saw it on tv . Oh, I saw it on tv.

[00:15:09] I saw it on tv. And how do you, you’re very secure in who you are. How do you. Talk about what you do in today’s like, I mean, cause there’s a lot of people here in society that are very repressed, right? And it’s for whatever reason, repressed feelings, repressed, whatever that culture of not wanting to talk about sex very openly.

[00:15:35] And even though that’s changing. How do you show up and talk about what you do to, to people, like new people that you might not have met before? Hmm. Yeah. This is a very good question because I remember I was engineer. And then I became a manager. And so when people ask me what I do, I couldn’t say I’m a manager.

[00:16:00] It felt like it wasn’t in my skin. I didn’t feel like a manager. I still felt like an engineer. And then when I became sex coach, I just, it was awkward to say that because like exactly like what you’re referring to, people have ideas. Maybe people have judgment, right? And then I remember first times just like saying, it’s just like the mouse is not open and it’s hard to say.

[00:16:25] I bet you find people have more questions than not. It’s also a good way to like weed out who you’re not going to want to work with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what I find that I, I’m arriving in this place when I’m very comfortable. because I see what happens to people, what it does to people, right? And I want to like open my window and scream to everyone.

[00:16:46] I have a sex coach. I helped myself. I can help you. You don’t have to be that way. And I think there is this, but when I say that I’m sex and relationship coach, the conversation opens because people get curious. A lot of times people like, Oh, what does it mean? Then the conversation starts, right? And then we have, and then there are so many fun scenes we can talk about.

[00:17:10] So then it becomes great. And sometimes I would say that I’m intimacy coach because a lot of people seeing that intimacy is sex, but sex is like too harsh of a word. And intimacy is like this. a nicer word, but then what’s fascinating that they’re so different. Intimacy and sex are two different scenes.

[00:17:33] And like, when I say intimacy, do people understand it? What I mean, right? Is it landing on them the same way? So it’s a dance. There’s a lot of scenes there. I would think so, but I also think that intimacy and sex are two different things. Like they are two different things. They are, they are. And I have this explanation that’s like a very quick explanation, like how they’re different.

[00:17:59] That intimacy is closeness, right? That when I can, when I remove the armor and I can be vulnerable and just talking about some very deep topics, that’s we have intimacy, right? And then touch, I can have this touch, which is non sexual. A lot of times touch is used to Turn person on to prepare them for sex, right?

[00:18:22] Like as a foreplay But how about touch which is non sexual just like touching a parent touching a kid Just touching a friend in this like very genuine way, right? So that’s intimacy its closeness and it has nothing to do with sex and then sex is like that desire there that energy, that like genitals are tingling and wanting to like get in.

[00:18:47] So that’s sex, right? And so we can bring them together when they bring them together for a lot of times, for a lot of people, not for everyone. That’s important. It’s not for everyone, but for many people, including myself, then I have the best sex. Just being feeling so close and bringing that sexual energy.

[00:19:04] It just, Oh my God, this is the best, but it’s, we have to create intimacy. Intimacy doesn’t come from sex. If I have sex with someone, it doesn’t mean that intimacy shows up, which for a while I thought it will, but it doesn’t, right? So we have to create intimacy and it’s, there are tools. And so many people don’t know how to create intimacy and so many people never experienced it.

[00:19:30] And it’s totally coachable. Like everyone can have intimacy and it’s just such a such an amazing feeling that a lot of times people will just crave intimacy, but they think they crave sex. One of the things that I saw on your talking about not just intimacy with other people, but also with yourself. A little bit more about that.

[00:19:52] Yeah, I think I saw that on your website, . Yeah. Yeah. Whether you saw it on my website or anywhere else it’s, or another website. I was looking at that there is this like being honest and open with myself, right? Just having that moment with myself that who am I? What do I want? What is important for me? And then the game is the self touch that I have this guided exercise when like just playing the music and just touching, touching my face, touching my hair, just really feeling that closeness with myself.

[00:20:32] And it just feels so good. Like touching my arms. And again, it might feel, This, the desire to self pleasure might arise from that, or maybe not, it just feels so nourishing just be with myself. And then looking in the eyes, like grabbing a mirror and meeting eyes. And I remember when I did it first time, there is this exercise you do it every day for 30 days.

[00:20:58] When I looked in my eyes, like on my face, just like the first reaction is, Oh, like My eyebrows, my, is there a pimple, right? Like how’s my hair? So it just, we look at, we objectify ourselves. How crazy is that? Like I feel offended when partner objectifies me, but I do it to myself. And so many of us do it, right?

[00:21:19] But then when I pass that phase of, Oh, this makeup, whatever, then just looking in the eyes at first, it’s uncomfortable because I don’t have closeness with myself, right? It feels just like, Oh, five minutes is too long. I can’t do it. And then it’s like giggles like this, like laughter, which is awkward laughter.

[00:21:38] Right. And so as I keep doing it at some point, then I started having tears. Just feeling that how much I miss myself, that I don’t have this closeness, I miss myself, right? And then passing that phase, then there is this having a moment with myself. Have you had a moment with yourself, Kendra? Not by staring at myself in the mirror for five minutes.

[00:22:05] But I try to have moments with myself, I’m suddenly wondering if it’s at the same level of what you’re talking about as far as intimacy with yourself, I think it’s really fascinating. It’s also your talk of touch is reminding me, and I’m going to get the details wrong, so don’t come at me if you’re listening, but the idea is the same, is that there was a statement study done about doctors and touching patients, not just even if I’m helping heal you, putting your hands on, not in an inappropriate way, but just an appropriate way.

[00:22:35] Because so many times people, it’s so easy, especially if you’re single or what have you to go through your day without any touch. And that day can turn into weeks and months. So. Even when you go to medical professionals, they’ve a lot of times taken out the touch other than very routine things. Let me feel your heart and even then it’s the heart monitor thing is between you and them.

[00:22:58] So there’s not, there’s no hands on you. And the study was basically like when doctors take the time to even if it’s touch your shoulder, what have you, it does help the patients. And there’s something in touch that helps. So I’m just putting all these ideas together as you’re talking about it, because I can see how that would be just so important for you to do for yourself, let alone for if you’re single and let alone with your partner, if you have one, because of with all of us, increasingly online and working from home and more isolated.

[00:23:31] It becomes even easier to live a life where all of a sudden weeks have gone by and you haven’t touched anybody. Yeah, and then and it affects our well being when we are not touched. It’s like we are missing food. It’s like something is missing and then it’s easy to get into that like feeling depressed, feeling moody, and then what is It’s what is very sad that touch is sexualized, that like I said earlier, that partners, if they touch each other, it leads to sex.

[00:24:00] And I wonder, like I imagine every person experienced it, that I just want to touch my partner, but then when I go and touch them, they try to have sex with me. It’s like for women, like I remember being in that place, right? That, Oh, like, okay, I better not touch them because then it will lead to sex. Right.

[00:24:21] But then communicating that, what if we had that, just the touching session, that what I will do with my partner, that we have 15 minutes each, that we have timer just like in the middle of the day, I lay down. and he touches me from head to toe just for the sake of touching, right? And then I touch him and we continue with our day, right?

[00:24:44] It’s just to get that touch, to feel, it’s just feeding so deeply us. That’s really interesting. Yeah. It’s so important. And it’s something that, like I said, more and more, I think we don’t realize it’s easy to not realize how many days have gone by since you’ve just had that touch of a person, right? Cause they talk about grounding and putting your feet in the ground and the grass on the ground, like on earth to ground yourself regularly, but there’s not as much conversation around that I’ve seen.

[00:25:19] Yeah. around the importance of touch. And in this NA we’re talking to business owners who are trying to be effective and productive and do things with their business and take their business to places. But a lot of times it’s really hard if you yourself are missing something important. Yeah. There’s not a question.

[00:25:40] It’s just a conversation. Yeah. But it is, it’s hard. It’s a difficult thing to balance. And so knowing that there’s ways to, if you find yourself feeling I guess, lonely, or if there’s something where you need extra support, realizing that you can find that also within yourself. And there’s different ways to do that.

[00:26:02] And one of them, which is very powerful is touch because it brings in another sense and makes it like a tangible thing versus just thinking or journaling or whatever, all the other tools that are available. This is another tool that’s available to us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Totally. Yeah, it is.

[00:26:24] And then when I work with clients in person, I work on zoom as well. And like a lot of things can happen online, just like connecting and communicating. Right. And then there is something so powerful about touch that like that I will have a person who they come for sex coaching, but then they experienced like that they never been touched in a non sexual way.

[00:26:45] And it’s just so nourishing. And then for me, because I’m being like all day long, I am touching people that touch me. I noticed how I used to crave massages. Like I would need to massage every week and I wasn’t craving massages anymore because I have my cup filled with touch. That’s amazing. And it’s so interesting to me too, right?

[00:27:09] Like, People have different senses that they rely on more or that they crave more, right? There’s whether you’re a conversation, whether you’re touch and feel, whether it’s the different types of the love languages. But I think that even at the root of it, like there is a need for human touch. There is.

[00:27:26] Yeah. Yeah. And there is a desire for that intimacy. And once again, not for everybody, but for most, for many people. There is that desire for intimacy and for good sex. So all of those things build. Definitely, yes. So how does someone know, like, where, what state are people in usually when they come to find you?

[00:27:51] Or when they want to work with an intimacy or sex coach. Yeah. Yeah. This is, it’s usually state. It’s interesting that for women, it’s, it just like, there are different, right? Like I’m just summarizing like every case that are unique, but for women, a lot of times that I don’t feel like having sex.

[00:28:12] Something is missing. I am just, I know there is, there must be something there, but I don’t feel it. Right. For men, a lot of times like, like losing their action. And it’s interesting how That people come when there’s like, when there is a problem already, right? And then a lot of times it’s not medical. It’s not at all because when we are not, like how you said, there is a, we have need for having sex.

[00:28:37] We have these desires that we want to be satisfied. And so when that is not happening and we fake certain scenes, we try to fake it till you make it, or we just like numb it and we are not exploring it. Then like the genitals, they start talk to us, right? Like the body talks and so then genitals just are not functioning the way how we want, right?

[00:28:59] And so when we start working then it’s oh my god, like then suddenly dysfunction is not a problem anymore because the person was not, like they have sex. but they are not following that what they really want. Their core desire wants passion and they are going for something like very mellow, right?

[00:29:20] Like certain things that they’re not fulfilling what their core wants. And the moment we find that, like what they’re really like, their whole system craves, then it’s all happening, right? And so for, for, are you saying something? I’m just listening. I’m still trying to get your body talks.

[00:29:36] I was like, Oh, what would the, what would genitals be saying? But I got it. No, but yeah, but for women, they’re talking to that, that there is dryness or, uh, like not feeling tingling, not feeling that. And it can be like a totally. separate podcast talking about what women really for majority of women, what women want sexually and what men want sexually and how we mismatch for heterosexual relationships.

[00:30:00] There is like we have to understand how to meet because we are very different like male and female sexuality are very different. And then for couples, usually it’s like, we don’t like, we don’t have sex. So that, that like either, either we are fighting like that, we like, we just in this point that like, we just trigger each other.

[00:30:20] We are just like, we have kids and we are married, but we just since like not flowing, right. And then we discover what, what is there, how to do a repair, how to get like, how to come back to love, how to come back closer or, and, or not having sex. that I love this person. We feel like friends, but like the desire, the sex is not happening.

[00:30:42] And so then we discover that like core desire that what each person, what this, like their whole being wants to feel certain feeling. And so we find it for both partners and then how to breach, how they can meet each other. So these are the common sense and like, usually how humans are, that. when, when something is not working, when there is a pain point, then they search coaching.

[00:31:05] But I must say that how amazing it would be when everything is great. And then to learn more tools to make it even better. Because that’s what’s happening for me that so many tools I learned from my clients. But as I apply it to my sex life, I’m like, I can’t believe it’s getting better and better. It’s just so amazing.

[00:31:26] And when we met and we were on this like hormones honeymoon phase, it wasn’t as good as it is right now. Is it true? Like, is it real? That’s amazing. That’s amazing. And what Let me figure out how to word this question. So once someone works with you and they’ve gone through intimacy and sex coaching, how do you see them?

[00:31:51] Do, does how they show up in the world change like for their, for the rest of the other parts of their lives? Oh my God, there is a great correlation. Yes. I’m happy you’re asking that because what I noticed in me and in my clients, that there is the sexual energy is it’s a life. It’s a livening energy.

[00:32:13] It’s like a life energy. So everything goes in parallel when sexual energy alive and it’s flowing through me. Then I see how life. Awakens too. There is desire to live. Ideas are flowing. Scenes are smoothly happening. It’s just, as I am alive in bedroom, there is a liveness. in everyday life. And when I talk about sexual energy, I don’t mean having sex.

[00:32:40] I am talking when the whole body is just so alive and so shaken and so awaken, then it’s just like this aliveness transforms into life. Totally see the correlation. Yeah. I would think so for sure.

[00:32:54] Because when you’re feeling that way, it’s so easy to see how that comes alive in your day to day, to see how that could come alive. Like you were saying creativity and ideas and inspiration and for your business. Because a lot of times when I’m working with Clients, especially women, if they’re feeling overwhelmed and anxious and just stuck, part of that is just energy.

[00:33:18] That’s just stuck. And there’s a lot of reasons for it, but whatever tools you can use to start moving that forward, it’s going to help in your business. It’s going to help in your day to day. It’s going to help how you show up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. It’s this, I just had this thought, how you talk like the energy is being stuck.

[00:33:40] What was it that, that I remember like my mom was. Keep my virginity that like I don’t have sex like that. I hold it. It’s like, that’s such an asset. I had to keep it. And so it was a good goal. I kept it till 20 years old. But then she said, when you do have sex, you have to be this, you have to rock their world.

[00:34:00] You have to show something so amazing that just like their mind is blown, but she didn’t tell exactly what to do, right? How will I know? I left with this, like, I have to do something, but I don’t know what. So I have felt this pressure. Oh, that’s what it is. Why I started talking about it. And I was seeking trainings.

[00:34:22] I was reading books. I wanted to become this like the best lover. Usually like men come with this, with the request. They want to be like the best lover. And then what I learned that when I relax and when I have pleasure, and I genuinely just really enjoy and have pleasure.

[00:34:41] Then the people say, Oh, it was the best sex because the partner can feel it and they just ride with it. Right? So for women, there is such an important scene to just relax, let go, surrender. And I think it’s in sex and it’s in business, too. True. And then since Halloween. That’s true. Sex, business, life. It was funny, I used to read, like, one of the first books on journaling and writing, because I used to do a lot of writing, one of the first books was called, that I read about the topic, was called Writing Down the Bones.

[00:35:21] And this woman like studied with a Zen Buddhist monk and she like put this idea together where you just write, you don’t edit, you just feel your body relax and you don’t write. And she basically like one of the rules is it’s like sex, just keep moving and relax and just go with whatever’s going on. Oh my God.

[00:35:42] Whatever’s coming out of your head like that. But that’s one of the rules. You don’t edit, you don’t try and take it back. You just go with it and relax. And wherever your mind takes you on the paper, that’s where you’re going. And like sex, wherever things go, that’s where they’re going. That just like, so resonates with being in your body that a lot of times with clients, we, we, we work to like, to learn to be in your body because.

[00:36:09] again, how society teaches us to be in the head, right? That like we are sinking. Okay. You start touching me. Let me touch you. It’s like the, the mind is okay. So the mind is kind of calculating, but when we turn that off, right, just turn it off.

[00:36:25] And then getting in the body. It’s fascinating what body does. It’s just, it just goes into this crazy places when it feels like the most amazing. And so, yeah, that’s like that art of like, letting go and just really get in the body and let it dance. Let it dance. Yep. Let it dance. That’s it. So Lyuba, this has been really fun.

[00:36:51] I want to be mindful of your time. So one of the last questions I have for you is what advice do you have for someone who might be feeling stuck, who might be feeling when it’s stuck in your business. And let’s be clear, this whole episode has been about more than your business because we are all more than our business.

[00:37:11] And my last question for you is for someone who’s listening and interested. I’ll put your links below, but tell everyone where they can find you. Yeah. So I’m located in San Diego for people who want to meet in person. And then on my website, which is Lyuba Venable, my first, last name, and let me spell it L Y U B A.

[00:37:35] That’s my first name. And then last name V E N A B L E dot com. And so this is where you can schedule just a discovery call. where we talk and we see if we’re a good match. If what you’re looking for, I can help as well. Sign up for my mailing list. Every month I send this like how to pleasure your life tips and tricks.

[00:37:56] And then I have workshops that I have upcoming workshop for. It says for couples, but it’s like basically for anyone who is interested to practice relationship skills so that you can come with your partner or with a buddy, with a friend. This with someone that you’re comfortable to get vulnerable and to have non sexual touch.

[00:38:15] And yeah, that’s how, and then I work online too. So you don’t have to be in San Diego and I would love to talk to you and like to be at service. Fantastic. Fantastic. Thank you for being here for this very unique and special episode. I really appreciate it. It’s been fantastic. Thank you, Kendra. I have this, like this, the energy with you that it’s just like I’m constantly smiling and there is this giggly excitement.

[00:38:43] So fun for that. That’s so fun. And for those of you who tuned in, thank you for joining us today. And remember at KendraLosee.Com. We’re all about passionately driven entrepreneurs and guiding you to success in business. and in life. And this episode has definitely been about success in business and particularly in life.

[00:39:04] And it’s been awesome. So remember it’s never too late to make your business and your career work for you and not the other way around. Until next time. See you later.